I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
