I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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