Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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