I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
