dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize