So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize