porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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