It's Friday. Sex?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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