If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
