My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
