she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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