Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it was like eating out sand paper
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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