come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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