You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
