its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
