I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
