did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
