i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
