one word: firstdatebathroomanal
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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