should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
