I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
