I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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