When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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