How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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