You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers