I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Randomize
