Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji