So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration