Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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