And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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