Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
