I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
