Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
