but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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