yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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