I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
