these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
