I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
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