My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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