How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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