Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
No stitches, just platelets and will power
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
