You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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