she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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