If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
