Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
