I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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