girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
