Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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