we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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