You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
