Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
My brain says no but my pants say off.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Randomize
