if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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