I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i have herpe
just one?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
