whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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