I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
