Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
