Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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