I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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