But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
