Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Text me some of your sweat
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize