so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
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Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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