I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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