Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
