Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I woke up under a house in Key West
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
