Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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