i will never coherently bang her
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
