even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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