drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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