Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Its about making memories worth repressing
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
