Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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