if you like me you must not know who I am
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
